Hurdle #2: Saying Healthy Goodbyes

Many do not like goodbyes and do their best to avoid them because goodbyes are hard. They are emotional and painful.

It is important to have good goodbyes to bring closure to a season of life that is ending. Being intentional with your goodbyes to the people, places, and things you are leaving. Staying present with the people you are with and in your surroundings even though it is a natural tendency to pull away and start to disconnect. Be sensitive to others around you as you are not the only one grieving. Those who are left behind are grieving the loss of your presence.

A good way to remember how to say healthy goodbyes is the acronym C. A. R.

C – Closure. It is important to say goodbye to bring closure to your time and can be done through a variety of ways. Having a farewell party, meeting close friends over coffee, a meal, doing a fun activity together, visiting places that you wanted to see before leaving, visiting special places, eating foods that are specific to that place are just some ways to bring closure.

A – Appreciation. What are you thankful and grateful for? Be specific in what you say or write. Share how you have learned from them. Maybe writing a card, buying a gift or any other token of appreciation.

R – Resolving Conflict. Are there any unresolved conflicts that you need to try and resolve before leaving? What is in your hand to do to bring about resolution?

It is really good to say our goodbyes in person but there are times when you may not be able to do so. You can still say your goodbyes using the acronym C. A. R. even when you have already left by being creative through technology and social media.

When there is no closure, it is harder to move forward into your new season of life because your eyes are always looking in the rearview mirror towards what was and longing to be there again. Saying goodbye not only brings closure, but it also creates space for moving forward to have good ‘Hellos’.

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