Relational Dynamics in Transition

Transition is hard. One reason why transitions are hard is because of our relationships. We become disoriented and disconnected with others, with God, and even with ourselves. We get knocked down in some transitions that penetrates deeply to our core identity causing us to doubt and question, who am I? It even causes us to wonder and question, where do I belong?

How often do we become disconnected to ourselves, to others, and to God when in transition when what we really need and want is connection?

I am in the midst of reading, The Expectation Gap by Steve Cuss which some of the concepts he writes about I believe can be magnified and illuminated when in a season of transition. Steve talks about four core relational dynamics, 1) assumptions, 2) reactivity, 3) stuck patterns, and 4) attempted solutions and how these dynamics can block our connection to self, to others, and to God.

In the following weeks, we’ll be diving deeper into these four relational dynamics to see how they may contribute and impact our transition experience.

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October Newsletter

SHANNON’S CORNER The Saga Continues… The trip to Malaysia consisted of a two-day spiritual retreat with the theme of ‘Come Away With Me’ and a six-day conference with about 230 missionaries who serve in some aspect of translating the Scriptures. One of the many people who I met was a missionary who served in Cameroon for many years and now is in a new role. As he was sharing, most his words were very negative and depressive. I encouraged him to sign up for a time of prayer and care. At the end of the retreat, this missionary shared with me that he did have a session and I could see that his whole countenance changed, and he was hopeful. His new word he used to describe where he was now is ‘delightful.’ Our time there was creating a safe space for these missionaries to have a place to share what they are struggling with and to connect with Jesus. One missionary is at a crossroads in her life. Another finds himself in the midst of betrayal. A missionary is in a new role as a caregi...

You Are Not A Role

You are not your job title. You are not your productivity. You are not only the caretaker, the leader, the helper, the strong one. Those may be things you do —beautifully, even sacrificially—but they are not the whole story of who you are. Your worth is not defined by your output. Your identity is not limited to your roles. Coaching begins when we ask: What would it look like to live from that truer self, even just a little more today?

Reactivity

Transition is like putting a complex and challenging puzzle together. Some of the pieces seem like and even look like they fit in a particular place, so you continue until you get stuck. You become frustrated and annoyed because you have spent all this time and energy into putting this section of the puzzle together and now you must find the piece that is in the wrong place. Reactivity becomes one more piece of complexity that we face in transition. It is how we manage our reactivity to know whether we are connecting or disconnecting in our relationships. Let’s discover what is reactivity. The working definition from Meriam Webster Dictionary is done in immediate response to something especially without thinking or planning. Reactivity is another core relational dynamic that can disconnect us with ourselves, with others, and with God, our Immanuel. It can become a numbing agent that blocks our connection and awareness to God’s presence within us and in our...

Shannon's Corner

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