Shannon's Corner

  When driving back and forth to work at the hospital there would be times I would look around and ask myself,  how did I get here?  The way was so familiar that my mind was on autopilot. I would joke that my car knows exactly how to get there without me. But when I would be on a new road or a new route to get to an unfamiliar place, I need to pay attention and be alert to my surroundings. Have you ever found yourself in this autopilot mindset?   We would like for our life’s transition to be like putting on an old comfortable hoody because it is the comfort and familiarity it offers. In transition we can easily find ourselves caught in repetitive thought and behavior patterns, like an old comfortable hoody, because they also bring familiarity in all things that seems unfamiliar. Stuck patterns keep us in ruts which lead us to disconnection from others and from God. They form when our mind, tries to cope with stress, uncertainty, and the pain of transition. This can f...

  SHANNON’S CORNER The Saga Continues… The trip to Malaysia consisted of a two-day spiritual retreat with the theme of ‘Come Away With Me’ and a six-day conference with about 230 missionaries who serve in some aspect of translating the Scriptures. One of the many people who I met was a missionary who served in Cameroon for many years and now is in a new role. As he was sharing, most his words were very negative and depressive. I encouraged him to sign up for a time of prayer and care. At the end of the retreat, this missionary shared with me that he did have a session and I could see that his whole countenance changed, and he was hopeful. His new word he used to describe where he was now is ‘delightful.’ Our time there was creating a safe space for these missionaries to have a place to share what they are struggling with and to connect with Jesus. One missionary is at a crossroads in her life. Another finds himself in the midst of betrayal. A missionary is in a new role as a caregi...

Transition is like putting a complex and challenging puzzle together. Some of the pieces seem like and even look like they fit in a particular place, so you continue until you get stuck. You become frustrated and annoyed because you have spent all this time and energy into putting this section of the puzzle together and now you must find the piece that is in the wrong place. Reactivity becomes one more piece of complexity that we face in transition. It is how we manage our reactivity to know whether we are connecting or disconnecting in our relationships.   Let’s discover what is reactivity. The working definition from  Meriam Webster Dictionary  is done in immediate response to something especially without thinking or planning.   Reactivity is another core relational dynamic that can disconnect us with ourselves, with others, and with God, our Immanuel. It can become a numbing agent that blocks our connection and awareness to God’s presence within us and in our...

  What do you see in this painting? What I see and what you see can be completely different things because our minds fill in the gaps to help us interpret what we are seeing and to give meaning.  An assumption is something that is accepted as true or taken for granted without proof or evidence. In other words, assumptions play a key role in how we make meaning out of things, particularly when we have incomplete information. We think we know but we do not really know.    How much do assumptions affect our relational health? Assumptions profoundly affect relational health by influencing how we communicate, trust, connect emotionally, and resolve conflict. The key to maintaining relational health is being mindful of our assumptions, challenging them when necessary, and engaging in open, honest communication to foster deeper connection.    In working with families, especially kids in helping them to process their lived experiences in a debri...

Transition is hard. One reason why transitions are hard is because of our relationships. We become disoriented and disconnected with others, with God, and even with ourselves. We get knocked down in some transitions that penetrates deeply to our core identity causing us to doubt and question, who am I ? It even causes us to wonder and question, where do I belong ?   How often do we become disconnected to ourselves, to others, and to God when in transition when what we really need and want is connection?   I am in the midst of reading,  The Expectation Gap  by Steve Cuss which some of the concepts he writes about I believe can be magnified and illuminated when in a season of transition. Steve talks about four core relational dynamics, 1) assumptions, 2) reactivity, 3) stuck patterns, and 4) attempted solutions and how these dynamics can block our connection to self, to others, and to God.    In the following weeks, we’ll be diving deeper into these four rela...