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Christmas Loss


 The Christmas season should be a time of joy and celebration but for some it is a time of loss, sadness, and grief. 

My first Christmas living overseas brought a lot of loss and grief that I did not expect. I was caught unawares. The things I associate with Christmas and the holiday season were not there, not available, or were just different. 


Celebrating Christmas in 90-degree weather when putting up Christmas tree and decorations instead of the cold and snow. A different type of 'cozy and warm' feeling. As I would walk the streets of my neighborhood, the outside Christmas lights would be on no matter what time of day and playing bits of Christmas songs not at all in sync and not the whole song or chorus. The noise at first was jarring and then you would have all these partial Christmas songs playing through your head on a sound loop. 


One of the big things I associate Christmas are the tastes, smells, and even the feel of things. Not being able to find the ingredients to make the recipes that are made during the Christmas season or I find the ingredients needed but the consistency is slightly different and so it just doesn't look the same and/or taste the same. One of my favorite drinks during the Christmas season is hot cocoa and when I was in Peru hot cocoa was something they served along with their Christmas bread called Paneton. This was one of their traditions and it was served at every Christmas event and visitation during the month of December. Yet for me, drinking hot cocoa in 90-degree weather was challenging because the heat and me do not get along and the hot cocoa made me even hotter.  


The Christmas celebration started on Christmas Eve, everyone dressed up, gathered at a family's house, the big meal was served at midnight, and gifts would be exchanged. Then we set off some of the fireworks that we bought and could see all around us as people would be setting off fireworks and/or firecrackers throughout the whole neighborhood, and the music would be turned up to blasting. Around 4am is when we would leave and sleep in on Christmas day. 


Even though it was new and exciting to celebrate Christmas in a different culture and with my national friends and fellow missionaries, the paradox is that there were still loss and I was sad, lonely, felt like a misfit and forgotten. Loss of not being with my own family to celebrate and the usual Christmas traditions and the things I did not realize I associate with Christmas until it was not there or available.


There is one population that comes to mind and the hidden losses that they have around the Christmas season, our missionaries. Some of them do celebrate the Christmas season where they are living with some of the Christmas traditions with other missionary families, expat families and some new Christmas traditions with their national friends. And there are some who live in countries where Christmas is not at all celebrated. It is just another day of work, school, life. No decorations, no tree, no presents, no food, no celebration, nothing.


This Christmas season remember those who may be suffering this Christmas and give them a gift of presence, encouragement, kindness, and of hope. Connecting with them and connecting them to the HOPE of the world, Jesus Christ, Immanuel, God with us.


Share what Christmas loss you have experienced or are experiencing.

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