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Healthy Goodbyes = Good Hellos

How do you say goodbyes? 

When do like to avoid saying goodbyes?  

Have you ever thought that goodbyes are part of loss and the need to grieve?   

 

The year I turned nine I was so excited to be finally old enough to get to go to Seneca Hills Bible Conference Camp and all by myself for the whole week.  I would hear how much fun my older brother had during his weeks at Seneca Hills and now it was my turn.  I was so excited that I had my suitcase packed two months in advance.  It was also the year my parents received the news that we would be moving to a new place which I was also looking forward to a new house because of having my own room finally but going to camp outshined even that news.

 

I had an amazing week at camp and when my parents came and picked me up on Saturday, my nine-year old self did not realize until pulling up to a new house when the truth hit me that I was not going back to my old house.  I was so sad and devasted because I did not get to say goodbye to my friend.  My mom had me write a letter to my friend to say goodbye.  It was hard for me to process this experience because I did not receive a reply.  I had a very hard time allowing myself to make new friends in my church and community because I was grieving a lost friendship.

 

This experience taught me the importance of saying healthy goodbyes to bring closure on the time I had with people, places, and experiences.  

 

When it is time to say goodbye there are losses that occur with each goodbye, we say whether we realize it or not.  What bubbles up inside of you when it’s time to say goodbye and/or time to leave?  

 

Goodbyes are bittersweet.  Some goodbyes are hard, difficult and in some situations they can be painful.  Other goodbyes are exciting, anticipating, affirming, and hopeful.  Like any type of loss and grief you need to go through the process.

 

A process to help you say a healthy goodbye is remembering the acronym C.A.R.

 

·      Closure – different ways to bring closure such as a farewell party, going for coffee, making/giving a small gift or token to remember your time.

·      Affirmation – that the person(s) about what you are grateful for or how you appreciate them, place, or thing what you are thankful for.

·      Resolving Conflict – when there has been a disagreement or conflict that has been left unresolved to how you can do your part in resolving this conflict to not leave it undone if possible.

 

Saying a healthy goodbye brings closure, leaves the bridge open, and makes space for you to have good Hellos.  Take the next step and make your free 20 minute Discovery Call. 

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