Where Is Home?

 

How do you define “home”?

For some people, home is a place—the house where they grew up, the town they have lived in for years, or a familiar community.

For others, home is more about the people. Home is where their family is, where their friends gather, or where they feel known and loved.

I have personally defined home as “where I am.”

Perhaps you can relate.

If you have moved from house to house, city to city, church to church, school to school, or job to job, you may have learned how to make home wherever you are. You unpack, learn the new rhythms, meet people, and begin creating a life.

But recently, while spending time with some Third Culture Kids, I was reminded that the question of “Where is home?” can be much more complicated. For a TCK, home might be the country where they were born, where they spent their childhood, where their parents are from, or a place they haven't lived in for years but still carry within them.

Sometimes they have several places they call home. Sometimes they aren't sure they can call anywhere home.

This isn't only a TCK experience. Any transition that involves moving can disrupt our understanding of home.

Maybe you've moved to a new city, left a church community, graduated from school, changed jobs, or relocated for family or ministry. We aren't just changing our address. We are also experiencing changes in relationships, routines, identity, familiarity, and belonging.

That's why moving can bring questions like:

Who am I here? Where do I belong? Who knows me? What am I leaving behind? What will feel familiar? And where is home now?

Perhaps we don't need to have one simple answer.

Home can be a physical place.
Home can be people.
Home can be memories, traditions, and familiar rhythms.
Home can be a sense of belonging.

And sometimes, home is something we are still learning to recognize.

When we move, we can put pressure on ourselves to quickly feel at home. But belonging takes time. It takes relationships, repeated experiences, familiar routines, and the freedom to grieve what we left behind.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to say:
“This doesn't feel like home yet.”

That doesn't mean we made the wrong decision. It simply means we are still in transition. Instead of asking, “Why don't I feel at home yet?” perhaps we can ask:
“What would help me feel a little more at home today?”

Maybe it is finding a familiar routine, connecting with someone, displaying something that reminds you of home, or creating a new tradition. We carry pieces of home with us wherever we go. And as we enter a new season, we have the opportunity to create new places of connection and belonging.

So, where is home for you?

Maybe your answer has changed over the years.
Maybe it is a place.
Maybe it is people.
Maybe it is both.
Or maybe you are still figuring it out.

You are allowed to be in the process of finding home.