Skip to main content

Stuck Patterns

 

When driving back and forth to work at the hospital there would be times I would look around and ask myself, how did I get here? The way was so familiar that my mind was on autopilot. I would joke that my car knows exactly how to get there without me. But when I would be on a new road or a new route to get to an unfamiliar place, I need to pay attention and be alert to my surroundings. Have you ever found yourself in this autopilot mindset?

 

We would like for our life’s transition to be like putting on an old comfortable hoody because it is the comfort and familiarity it offers. In transition we can easily find ourselves caught in repetitive thought and behavior patterns, like an old comfortable hoody, because they also bring familiarity in all things that seems unfamiliar. Stuck patterns keep us in ruts which lead us to disconnection from others and from God. They form when our mind, tries to cope with stress, uncertainty, and the pain of transition. This can feel like protection or familiarity, but it actually stifles our growth and adaptability. The problem lies in that these patterns aren’t just unhelpful thoughts—they’re ruts that keep us in unproductive or harmful cycles due to our deeply seated assumptions and reactivity.

 

An Unproductive or Harmful Cycle.

 

Transitions are hard because they also bring loss. One of our first questions that is a normal response is, ‘Why?’ 

Why God?

Why has this happened? 

Why didn’t you stop this? 

Why are these people causing all this hurt? 

It is important to ask why as it gives voice to our loss. The danger though is getting stuck in the why questions as they begin to breed fear and doubt. Fear that there is something wrong with you. You doubt God, who He is and what He has done and is doing. These fears and doubts cause you to get stuck in this unproductive and harmful cycle because you may never learn the answer or understand the ‘whys’ you have. These ruts drive you further away from God instead of running to him. Thus, leading you to disconnection from God, from others and even with yourself toward a dead end.

 

So how do you start to notice and get out of stuck patterns?

 

One way is by being curious and kind to yourself as you ask the Holy Spirit to search you, your thoughts, and your heart as He reveals to you the assumptions and reactivity that keep you in a stuck pattern (Psalm 139:23-24). Another can be to ask a trusted friend or family member to share with you a stuck pattern they have noticed.

 

If you are stuck in the why questions, begin asking, ‘How?’ The how questions orient you in a totally different posture. How begins to open you up to relationship. 

How is God inviting you to walk in this reality that you find yourself in? 

How are you going to walk with God? 

How are you going to walk with others in the midst of this? 

 

This posturing orients you to connection and relationship with yourself, with others, and an invitation to a deeper intimacy with God.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

October Newsletter

  SHANNON’S CORNER The Saga Continues… The trip to Malaysia consisted of a two-day spiritual retreat with the theme of ‘Come Away With Me’ and a six-day conference with about 230 missionaries who serve in some aspect of translating the Scriptures. One of the many people who I met was a missionary who served in Cameroon for many years and now is in a new role. As he was sharing, most his words were very negative and depressive. I encouraged him to sign up for a time of prayer and care. At the end of the retreat, this missionary shared with me that he did have a session and I could see that his whole countenance changed, and he was hopeful. His new word he used to describe where he was now is ‘delightful.’ Our time there was creating a safe space for these missionaries to have a place to share what they are struggling with and to connect with Jesus. One missionary is at a crossroads in her life. Another finds himself in the midst of betrayal. A missionary is in a new role as a caregi...
Post a Comment
Read more

January Newsletter

    SHANNON’S CORNER Winter Blast… Brr. It’s cold outside.  Winter is not a favorite season for many people, but I love winter. There is a beauty in the dormant, snow covered, and coldness of winter that embraces and permeates us to the depths of our bones.  It reminds me of the Lord’s love that embraces and permeates us to the depths of our heart and soul.  The snow brings a smile to my face as I delight in the quietness, calming, beautifying, and a slower pace.  Recently, I was talking with someone in Louisiana who was going to be making a snowman and snow angel with his granddaughter.  What playfulness and awe to experience the Lord’s beauty. Community is so important to our lives that even the Lord noticed how alone Adam was in the garden that He made Eve.  It is where you are seen, known, and find belonging.  It has been something I have prayed for, asked you all to be praying for, have sought after in ...
Post a Comment
Read more

March Newsletter

  SHANNON’S CORNER Connect. Nurture. Grow. An unexpected and unplanned trip led me to see God’s marvelous and wonderful work at the Assist Pregnancy Center. I learned from the staff that this pregnancy center is unique and different in that the population they serve are women who come already with an 85-90% decision made of aborting their babies. The medical staff who are in the rooms with the women during their ultrasounds share Jesus with them and are compassionate witnesses to each baby as they are seen, valued, and loved. If the mother decides to have the baby the center walks alongside with the mother and family. I had the precious privilege to facilitate a training with all the staff of the pregnancy center to talk about the Wounds from the Work.  Listening to their stories of how the Lord called them to work at this pregnancy center and what the cost has been to them, and their families was sacred ground.  Creating a safe place for them to be seen and heard in thei...
Post a Comment
Read more